Thanksgiving

It is the time of year where everyone reflects back on the year, and what they are thankful for. Honestly, 2009 has not been kind to our family. This year has been the hardest year in my life, both physically and emotionally. It started in January, when we found out that the medication that I had been on for 5 months was not going to work... and our only option to have a baby was IVF. That medicine had made me sick for five months, without even a chance of working. It was so disheartening. After rounds and rounds of testing, we started our IVF cycle in April.

Our IVF cycle was rough. After receiving three shots a day for 15 days, we finally got our embryos. Everything was supposed to be easy and calm from then on. Not in our case. I overstimulated and got a severe case of OHSS. The chances of that happening are about 1%. OHSS happens when a woman's estrogen level gets too high. There is no way to stop it, and you have to just wait for the level to go back down. The body starts dumping all of the fluid into the abdomen. I had a huge belly full of fluid, but was completely dehydrated. There was no way for me to keep up with the fluid. I was so full, that I had a hard time breathing. I was hospitalized and they drained a total of 8 liters of fluid from my abdomen. It was very painful and scary experience. Five months later, I was admitted into the hospital when my water broke. We all know the ending to that story.

This year has almost killed me. I have found my strength is amazing though. I never thought that I could make it through ANY of that.... let alone all of it. Although this year has been hard on Joseph and I, here we stand together. So, as hard as it initially seems to think of things to be thankful for, we have so many. We have each other and an amazing bond after all we have survived. We still have our health after mine was challenged through this year. Our bills are paid, and although our savings has taken a huge hit between IVF, a funeral, and a headstone... we can pay our bills. We have family. I don't know how we would have made it through all of this without the help and support of my parents. We had pictured this Thanksgiving to be very different a few months ago.
Here is hoping that next year will be kinder to us. I pray that next Thanksgiving will be met with more positive things to be thankful for, but at least we have something to be thankful for this year. Here is a quote I found that fit...
Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful.”