Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Almost 22 weeks

I say this a lot on this blog, but it is amazing that I am almost 22 weeks. I am shocked that is has only been 22 weeks, and shocked that it has already been 22 weeks. Isn't it funny how time does that? I still don't understand how I can feel like that, but I do.

I had a doctor's appointment today. Blake is looking wonderful. He is still very much a boy (they check every time). Everything looked great, and my peri was very happy with how everything is going. He is getting more and more confident that Blake is going to be a big, healthy baby. I starting to actually accept that Blake might be our take home baby. He might be the little guy that we get to keep. A lot can still go wrong, but we are getting so close.

I am so happy that my doctors know our story. They lived it with us, and they are wonderful to me. My peri talked about the boys to me today. He told me how worried he was about Jacob from the moment I stepped foot into L&D. Poor little Jacob had such a hard road. It is great to have doctors that talk about my boys. They know that my boys lived, and that my boys fought. They also know how hard Joseph and I fought. They know that my time in the hospital was hard, but we were so happy to be there. Everyday we were there, the boys were OK. I actually dread getting pregnant again one day, and having to deal with doctors who don't understand what happened. It is something you had to live to understand. I am so thankful that we are here long enough for me to finish this pregnancy at Bethesda.

Another interesting fact to write about... a year ago yesterday my babies were made. I was put to sleep and my eggs were removed. Ethan, Jacob, and Blake were all hanging out in Dominion Fertility's lab together for the five days they were allowed to grow. Blake was not growing as well as Ethan and Jacob, so he was frozen... and Ethan and Jacob were transferred. How amazing is that? As hard as IVF was on me, it is such an amazing process. I often wonder how many people wouldn't be here without IVF, then wonder how anyone could look at those people and disagree with IVF. I guess that is a whole other post though. We are amazed by our little IVF miracles.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Past 19 weeks.

Today, I am officially 20 weeks. Most people are very excited to be halfway done with their pregnancy, I am just happy to be past 19 weeks. 19 weeks is when Jacob's water broke. 19 weeks 5 days to be exact. That is a day that I will remember for the rest of my life.

I got up that morning and noticed that I was bleeding a bit. I had spotting a lot throughout my pregnancy, so I did the normal call to my OB. They wanted me to come in, but had no spots open in the office. They decided to send me to L&D. I actually texted Tina on the way there that I thought it was nothing... and Joseph and I were going to grab dinner while we were in the DC area after we were done. I never had the huge gush of water that everyone says that they had. I had no idea my water was leaking. After a few minutes in L&D, the doctor explained that my water had broken. The doctor had no idea what was going to happen, and he went off to find the Perinatologist. The Peri walked in and explained that I would be admitted until the babies were born, however long that may be. She also explained that I was at great risk for infection, and an infection could also make me very sick. Chaos followed. I was rushed to a room, IV started, ultrasounds run, and monitoring for contractions. It was a very scary night for us.

Being pregnant after going through all of that is hard. The entire week I was worried. I tried to stay as busy as possible to make the week pass quickly. Every week we make it without any issues, the better. I sometimes think how wonderful it would be to be the innocent pregnant person. Unfortunately, we know exactly what can go wrong. As my Peri said today, I know too much about the bad stuff. I know the statistics for babies in the NICU. I know that baby boys do worse in the NICU than baby girls. I know that I am at higher risk for the same thing happening again. I would love to be the girl that worries about stretch marks her entire pregnancy instead of the girl who counts down to 24 weeks (50% survival rate), 28 weeks (80%), and 30 weeks (90%+). I just know too much.

Another milestone down for us. We made it past 19 weeks without being hospitalized. Our next milestone is 24 weeks, where Blake will have a 50% chance of surviving if he is born.