Wednesday, November 28, 2012


Here we go again...

I have my giant box of medicines, my baseline monitoring appointment, and our sad savings account. Our last IVF cycle was supposed to be our last, yet here we are. I have caught myself saying the same again this time. This is my last.... My last time dealing with the pharmacy and all those meds. My last time waiting on my cycle to start so we can just get things going already! My last time trying to figure out what day we will be doing this or that, and what day I will be on bed rest. This is my last.... I pray.

Today is my baseline. I'm a little unsure of how things are going to go. The last few times I have gone for something routine, it's turned into a setback. Part of me feels like that will probably happen again today. We will see. I'm hoping we can get started today, so we can avoid cycling during Christmas. I stopped taking my birth control pills I haven't started a cycle yet, which makes me think I have a cyst. I would not be shocked.

I have no idea how people can do cycle after cycle of IVF. It just is not for me. The stress and unknown nature of IVF is enough to drive me crazy. Last cycle, I had the benefit of three years of forgetting. This cycle I don't. I just did this, and I didn't really enjoy it. The excitement from last time is gone.

So here we go... I'm praying that this is a smooth cycle with a lot of success.

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