How is it August already? Where did the month of July go? It feels like we just moved, and it has been almost a month. I find it amazing that when people ask when I am due, I can just say the 26th. Not too much longer. We are pretty busy until then, so hopefully the next few weeks will go by fast. We are very excited about meeting Blake.
I am also amazed that this month a year ago, I was admitted to Bethesda with Ethan and Jacob. I have been thinking about them often, as their birthday is slowly approaching. I want to do something for their birthday, but I am not sure what yet. I want to make sure that their birthday is never forgotten.
I am still amazed when I look at the pictures we have of them. They were so tiny, but such big fighters. When Ethan was in the NICU, it was amazing how strong he was. I still remember those days like they were yesterday. I remember right after we left Bethesda on September 15th, I was so scared I would forget. I was terrified that those short moments and memories I had with my babies would fade. I still remember it all, just like I did that day. I remember the fear, surprise, shock, love, and heartache of those 36 hours.
It is impossible to not what-if everything that happened last year. What if they had made it... we would have almost one year olds. We also wouldn't have Blake yet... he would still be in Arlington, VA in the freezer. How would life be for us? When we finally did transfer our last embryo (Blake), how would we do with three boys? There are so many questions that I wonder about.
I am sure that our angels are watching over their little brother already. When we were doing our frozen transfer, I often said that Ethan and Jacob were in Heaven picking out their sibling. How many parents get their children hand picked by angels? I am sure that Ethan and Jacob did a wonderful job picking out their little brother. They have been making sure that he is healthy and full term. I know they will be watching over us when Blake makes his big appearance.
So, 24 days until Blake's due date. I can't wait to meet this little man who insists on rolling around all night and keeping me awake. Joseph can't wait to meet the little man who kicks every time he touches my belly. Not much longer!