Update

We have been so busy! Things are going well though.  I am amazed at how fast Blake is growing.  I want time to slow down.  He is at a really fun age right now.  I say that at every phase, but this time is really fun.  When he was a newborn, I loved the snuggles.  When he was a few months old, I loved his first smiles.  Now, he is a little person.  He gets mad when he doesn't get what he wants, thinks things are funny, and recognizes Joseph and me. Blake got his first haircut and met the Easter bunny this weekend.  He was so excited.

I often wonder how things would have been with Ethan and Jacob.  Every first that Blake hits makes me think about them, and how they should be here. We should have witnessed all of these firsts with them.   Joseph and I still think about them every day.  Someone told me right after they died, "The pain never goes away, it just become easier to deal with".  So true.  It is such a part of our life.  I never, ever thought that watching Blake grow would make me miss them as much as it does.

I think about how much they missed.  They never knew the outside of those hospital walls.  They never saw the sun.  They never ate grass (Blake loves doing this... yuck).  Their lives were cut so short.